Doubt
by file- DS
Summary: Doubt kills you. It ruins your life, question by question. And once you start to act on it, you might regret what you've done.


_Well, I was watching 'Howl's Moving Castle' the other day, and it got me thinking about 'the raven'. And, well, I can't think about something without making a fic about it, so here we go!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything T.T_

_Hobby ho,_

_Xxxxxxx_

"Ho ho", a girl teenager laughed, lying on her stomach across the edge of a roof top, watching a teenage boy approach the door below her, flower held tightly in his hand. "He comes at my every beck and call it seems", she teased him behind his back.

The boy, dressed in his usual black tee-shirt, and dark pants, rang the doorbell numerous times, obviously not noticing the girl was above him.

"And he brought flowers today. How sweet, I better pick them up". The girl winked one of her deep blue eyes, as the boy gave up and placed the flowers by the door, then walked away. Once he was out of sight she stood up and jumped down, landing gently on her feet on the front porch.

She scooped up the bouquet, and smelled them. "Aw, some roses, and I think a few forget-me-nots", she deduced. "How… ironic".

"You're stealing from him you know?" a voice said.

"Who's that?" the girl looked around to find she was alone.

"Oh, I'm just a little voice inside you. Some call me a conscience, but I for one doubt you even have one anymore. Don't worry about my name".

"Pfft, I have a conscience. It's not like I'm evil or anything". The brunet turned her head.

"Well you're hurting him, and you don't seem to care".

"Oh, I just want some alone time. Is that so much to ask for?" she questioned the voice.

"You could always tell him that. I'm sure he'd understand. And then he wouldn't worry so much", the voice told her.

"Nah, he's fine. He wouldn't be upset by something like that. Now, I need to find a vase for these". She walked inside the house.

"He might be okay the first time, but this is third if I'm correct. Besides, when was the last time you even talked to him? A month ago?"

"I'll text him in a bit and thank him for the flowers, okay!" She urged the voice to be quiet.

"Nah-uh, it's not the same. And we both know you won't. Besides, you're still a thief".

"Hey, he gave me these flowers as a gift. I didn't steal them!"

"I'm not talking about some flowers. I'm talking about you stealing his heart. You can't just play with someone else's emotions like this".

"Oh, can't you just shoo? Green and I are perfectly happy, and I don't need you –err, myself -lecturing me!" Blue tossed the flowers against a coffee table, getting annoyed by this point.

"I'll leave if you want, but I am part of you. Somewhere in your mind you know all this anyway. And you know that you're really just being selfish". The voice finally disappeared.

Blue collapsed on the couch, and sighed. "I'll text him later. He's fine!"

Xxxxx

"Hey Green?" Blue said once Green pick up his phone on the other end.

"Yey? What's up? I came by your house yesterday and you weren't there. What's going on?" he asked.

"Yeah, well I was out placing order for a dress", she lied. "Sorry about that, but thanks for those beautiful flowers".

"No problem", Green said. "I'm happy you liked them".

"Yeah, well about that dress I ordered. It should have come in today, and I'm too busy to pick it up", again, she lied, but she had ordered the dress at some point yesterday. "Could you run by Viridian store and pick it up?"

"Well, it's my sister's birthday today, and we're throwing her a surprise party. She should be here any minute and-".

"Oh please sweetie Greeny?" She somehow managed to use her puppy growlithe eyes over the phone.

"Well, uhh. Fine, I'll go pick it up". He gave in to love.

"Oh thanks so much dear. You're the best. Love you", she hung up before waiting for his 'I love you, too'.

"Heh, now you're really selfish", the voice told her before she could even take a breath.

"What do you mean?" Blue asked. "I didn't force him to do it or anything!"

"Oh, you knew he'd do anything you asked. It's the same as forcing him. You may as well have told him to pick up your dry cleaning or take out the trash".

"You're the trash!" Blue yelled at the voice in her head.

"Well, since I'm just part of you, you just called yourself trash", the voice explained. "Possibly a little self-hatred from the guilt you know you feel?" the voice teased a little.

"Just shut up, okay!" Blue shouted.

"Hit a nerve? Good. Besides, once you knew he was busy, you could have asked anyone. Yellow lives in Viridian anyway, so it would have been easy for her", the voice tortured her with the simplest of facts.

"Yellow doesn't like talking to those snooty people behind the counters of those stores. I didn't want to put her in an awkward position".

"And this is a perfectly comfortable position for Green? Ditching his sister on her birthday to get you a dress? Plus, there are other people who could have done it easily. You could even have had it delivered right to the door".

"Well if you're so smart, then why did I make _him_ specifically get it? It would have been selfish no matter who I asked".

"Oh, well I can't tell you that until you stop lying to yourself. Remember, I'm part of you".

"Arceus, you're irritating!"

"I know we are", the voice giggled a bit. "So what are you so busy with that you can't pick it up yourself anyway?"

"Well I have to figure out what to throw out to make room for the dress in my closet, don't I?"

"You really are selfish". The voice disappeared again.

"Wait! Why do you think I'm making him pick it up?" The voice remained silent. A deep, mind blowing, and simply deafening silent.

Xxxxx

A few hours later Green arrived with the package, and this time Blue gladly answered the door. "Oh thank you!" Blue hugged him as he stepped in.

"Yeah, sorry it took a while. There was a long line at the pickup counter. That and they were a little curious why their town's gym leader was ordering a dress…" Green placed the bag on the dining room table.

"Oh, I'm so sorry about all this. Please, stay for a while. I'm making some tea". Blue let go of him, and skipped to the kitchen.

"I wish I could, but I promised Yellow I'd train with her this afternoon". Green turned to the door. Blue stooped where she stood pouring the tea, frozen in jealousy. "See ya later!" Green kissed her on the cheek, then left, closing the door behind him.

Blue was snapped back to attention a few second latter, when the tea began spilling over the edge of the cup, and scolded her foot. "Ouch!"

"Heh, jealousy huh?" the voice returned. "Now do you see why you got him to pick up the dress?"

"Y-yes…" Blue answered a little stunned. "I-I needed to know he cared about me… but now he's spending time with Yellow…"

"Oh, don't think too much of it. It's not uncommon for them to train together".

"Y-yeah… but" Blue sat gently in the neatest chair.

"Oh, so it's doubt now? That one really hurts", the voice giggled at Blue's pain.

"He- he'd rather spend time with her than me?"

"Oh, I really should comfort you right about now, but I think you kind of deserve this", the voice tormented her. "Oh, maybe it's because you've been avoiding him".

"SHUT UP!" Blue shouted, and tossed a lamp across the room, hitting a mirror. She got up and walked over to it, and started picking up shards of glass from the floor, mumbling things like 'cheating bastard', and 'I'll show him!'

"Oh, this is really getting to you now, isn't it", the voice laughed. "Well, you've stopped thinking of this rationally, so I think I can go". The voice left Blue in her despair.

Xxxxx

Blue woke up on the couch, her phone ringing in her hand. She answered it, and found herself talking to Silver. "Hello".

"Hey Blue. You texted me last night about wanting to catch a movie", he started. "Well, I'd be happy to".

"Oh, okay", Blue replied, trying to remember what she did the previous night during her jealous rage and coming up with nothing. "Meet me at the threating in a few, kay?" her voice shook the slightest bit, enough for Green to have noticed, but no one else.

"Okay, see you then". He hung up.

"So, made a date with silver huh", the voice startled her. "I guess that's that revenge you were muttering about in your sleep".

"No, I didn't make a date with him… I couldn't have. I love Green".

"Well you made it pretty clear that you don't love him last night". Blue felt her gaze quickly get pulled to the fireplace, where a small flame flickered away next to the one remaining picture of her and Green together, charred across one side.

"No… I-I do love him though. I know he'd never cheat on me… they were training. I know that!"

"Ah, how doubt feeds on its prey until it grows full and bloated, then leaves what's left to rot in its own remains".

"No! This isn't a date; it's just a meeting between two friends. I haven't seen Silver in-".

"Two weeks", the voice filled in the blank. "You feel you haven't seen him in a long time at two weeks. Yet Green you went a month without even thinking about it until I brought it up. Maybe you've been the one cheating on him all along".

"I made a mistake, okay! I don't think he's cheating on me anymore, so leave me alone about it!"

"…rot in its own remains", the voice repeated.

xxxxx

Blue arrived at the theater and found Silver waiting for her.

"Hey", he greeted joyously.

"Hey", she greeted solemnly.

Green would have noticed she was upset. No one else would.

"So what movie do you want to watch", Silver asked.

"I'm fine with anything". Green would have noticed her being unusually passive. No one else would.

"Um, how about this one", Silver pointed to a list, specifically at a comedy that neither could say they'd dislike.

"Sure", she walked into the theatre only to get stopped.

"You have to buy a ticket", a security guard said.

"Oh, sorry, guess I wasn't thinking", Blue laughed awkwardly.

Green would have noticed her being unusually forgetful. Nobody else-

"Are you okay?" Silver asked, "You seem a little off… or upset".

Blue was caught off guard by him. "Oh, sorry, I just didn't get enough sleep last night", she lied.

"Oh. I hope you're okay". He was more caring then she would have expected... from anyone other than Green.

"Oh yeah, fine".

"Maybe you should be with him instead of Green", the voice teased. "You too are so cute together".

"I'll get the tickets, you go grab us some seats", Silver said.

"Okay", Blue answered, suddenly with more cheer, and went off to find some seats.

Xxxxx

"So, you like him?" the voice asked once they were alone.

"Look, leave me alone! I'm just watching a movie with a friend!"

"You like him don't you?"

"Shut up, okay!"

"You know one funny thing about doubt… it gets you when you don't want it, when you're so weak to it. But it also gets you when you do want it; when you want those fears to come true. So… do you want to believe that he cheating on you now?"

"No! And he's not cheating on me!" Blue found some seats way at the back of the theatre, and sat down.

"Oh give it a little time and I'm sure one of you will cheat on the other. Hee hee hee hee hee", the voiced faded into laughter.

"W-why would I want to believe he is?"

"Hey!" Silver said, sitting next to her. "These seats are a little high up, don't you think?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Maybe we should move closer".

"Too late, the movie's starting". And the room fell into that same defining silence.

'Why would I want to believe he's cheating me?' Blue continued to think. 'He isn't… is he?' The doubt found its way back for dessert. 'I-if he is… then I can't just sit back and let it happen… I can't let him get away with it…' She turned to Silver. 'If he's cheating on me… then I'm gonna cheat on him!' she decided, tossing rational thought away.

"…and when doubt grows hungry again, those rotted remains taste better than the dish itself", the voice recited as Blue slowly, touched Silver's shoulder to get his attention… and once he turned his head… she moved forward… and kissed him.

_xxxxxxx_

_Ah, how doubt feeds on its prey until it grows full and bloated, then leaves what's left to rot in its own remains; and when doubt grows hungry again, those rotted remains taste better than the dish itself._

_I rather like that line. What do you guys think?_

_Oh yeah, and what do you think of the fic itself? Review XD But if your review says that it was OoC for Green to cheat on Blue, don't bother, because you obviously missed something._


End file.
